Life Before Death

Are we ready to die? An issue that does not cross our minds on an everyday basis, is a topic in which we quite understandably avoid talking about. Not only is it depressing, it questions whether we have lived enough to leave existence, or on the contrary, we simply come to realize that we have yet a lot more to fulfil before our times comes to an end.

Photographer Walter Schels and journalist Beate Lakotta address the subject of life and death at London’s Wellcome Collection. With a fascination for faces, Schels, a German photographer and partner Lakotta spent a year talking to and photographing terminally ill patients in a hospice in Berlin. The projects aims to understand what it feels like to know that death is going to happen and to learn whether these patients are ready to die or not. Naturally, this is a sensitive question to ask, but what photographer and journalist wanted to achieve from this project was to overcome the fear of death, to share and to experience the inner thoughts of patients who knew that their life was coming to end. Not knowing much about the exhibition or the artists, I walked in the exhibition expecting quite a depressing atmosphere, and whilst I still question today why I chose to attend the exhibition in the first place lies only in curiosity.

The room exhibits a series of 24 large format, black and white photographs of portraits taken of patients before and after their death. The vibe of the room resembled very much one of a funeral; I stress this by describing it as a silent, deep in thought but also melancholic atmosphere. As you walk around the room each photographs tells a very different account. Next to each photograph describes how the patient died, and how they felt about the idea of knowing that they will die. Interestingly, most patients admitted that they are not ready to die; they never thought that this would happen to them. One lady shared “I feel like I’m being punished for something, but I don’t know what it is.” This subject echoed and was highlighted in many cases. However some were not ready, and couldn’t accept that their life was coming to an end, they still hoped that a miracle would happen to prolong their life and save them from this distressing experience. These patients spent their life working, and awaited for a time to live, to live with their family, to travel and to do all the things they were distracted to do in the past, only to be shocked and angry that they were dying before they had hoped to start living.
Others were brave and almost looked forward to a beautiful experience, knowing that they would not have to suffer anymore from their illness. Some who were not strong during their years, expressed how stronger they felt knowing that they were going to die, appreciated life and wanted to live more than they have ever wanted to. Whilst a few on the other hand, were fearful and apprehensive of not knowing what would happen to them, “I don’t know whether I’ll be going to heaven or to hell” expressed one patient.

Whilst the exhibition aims to explore these experiences, hopes and fears of the terminally ill patients, it brings forward the reality that all these patients in the hospice are there to die; they are all faced with an awaiting trigger where their existence will come to an end. However, although these patients wait, the rest of us still live, happily or sadly, death is to the rest of us, an unpredictable experience. This exhibition highlighted this, and in some ways shared and questioned our reasons to live, whether it being self accomplishments, family, work, friends, we all will some day be faced with death.

Victor Hugo, famous French author once said, “Those who live are those who fight” and whether this applies to you or not, the subject of one day dying is to some I am sure, a fearful experience. Nevertheless, what I grasped from the pictures and the stories is life’s volatility, whilst appreciating the opportunity and the strength to continue live with the awareness and the acceptance that existence on earth will one day come to an end. However disheartening it may sound, accepting that this is will occur is somewhat the hardest part to accept.